The teachers were wrong. Watching movies can make you street-wise and teach you life lessons not found in any text book. Here's some lessons learnt from watching Martin Scorsese's classic, The Departed...
Cranberry juice is a diuretic. Women drink it when they're on their period...
...although asking a man whose just ordered cranberry juice if he's on his period will result in your face getting smashed with a glass.
Calling an Indian man "Babu" is ok, even if it's not his real name.
It's perfectly normal to go to a porno cinema with a s*x toy and make weird noises.
Calling a man sitting at a bar an "IRA m*therf*cker" is a great ice-breaker.
Excessive use of mobile phones can get you in trouble.
Prostitutes like it when you throw mountains of illegal drugs at them.
Sometimes arresting a traitor will get you shot in the head.
If your wife is unfaithful, garrotting her is an easy way to avoid a messy divorce.
When it calls for it, breaking a man's arm cast to check for wires and then hitting his broken hand with a shoe is the only way to find out if he's a cop.
Irish people are impervious to psycho-analysis. Freud said it so it must be true.
The Boston police force has more leaks than the Iraqi navy.
Saying to a girl that you will stab someone in the heart with an ice-pick is a great pick-up line.
Selling micro-chips to Koreans who can then fire rockets up the ass of a camel is a bad thing...depending on whose side you're on.
Maybe The Departed is the best film in the world. Maybe it's not. Maybe go f*ck yourself!
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