I had the pleasure of watching Star Trek Into Darkness the other day. An enjoyable film with great set-pieces and good performances, especially from Simon Pegg.
However, it got me thinking about the title of the film - Star Trek Into Darkness. Every sequel ever since Empire Strikes Back always goes for darkness in terms of mood, themes and maybe even killing off a main character. But halfway through STID, I had to put my sunglasses on because JJ Abrams insists on using the LENS FLARE effect in EVERY SINGLE SCENE!
He explained the use of LENS FLARE in the first Star Trek film to give it an epic feel but using it when Kirk is sitting in a bar?!
What's so epic about drinking an intergalactic pint?
I personally can't wait for Star Wars. I imagine the LENS FLARE effect will go into epic, hyper-drive when Luke pulls out his lightsaber for the first time...
The teachers were wrong. Watching movies can make you street-wise and teach you life lessons not found in any text book. Here's some lessons learnt from watching Martin Scorsese's classic, The Departed...
Cranberry juice is a diuretic. Women drink it when they're on their period...
...although asking a man whose just ordered cranberry juice if he's on his period will result in your face getting smashed with a glass.
Calling an Indian man "Babu" is ok, even if it's not his real name.
It's perfectly normal to go to a porno cinema with a s*x toy and make weird noises.
Calling a man sitting at a bar an "IRA m*therf*cker" is a great ice-breaker.
Excessive use of mobile phones can get you in trouble.
Prostitutes like it when you throw mountains of illegal drugs at them.
Sometimes arresting a traitor will get you shot in the head.
If your wife is unfaithful, garrotting her is an easy way to avoid a messy divorce.
When it calls for it, breaking a man's arm cast to check for wires and then hitting his broken hand with a shoe is the only way to find out if he's a cop.
Irish people are impervious to psycho-analysis. Freud said it so it must be true.
The Boston police force has more leaks than the Iraqi navy.
Saying to a girl that you will stab someone in the heart with an ice-pick is a great pick-up line.
Selling micro-chips to Koreans who can then fire rockets up the ass of a camel is a bad thing...depending on whose side you're on.
Maybe The Departed is the best film in the world. Maybe it's not. Maybe go f*ck yourself!
